I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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