idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
