ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
