i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
