why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
These tits shall not be calmed
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
