in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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