I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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