Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
