Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize