I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
