Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
