i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
