btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
