We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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