i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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