that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize