i don't like sucking hair
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
