The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
