i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I have fence marks all over my body
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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