I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
