Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
