He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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