There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
