I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
