Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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