her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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