break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
