You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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