I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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