I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
