you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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