saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
