Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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