Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
