he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
this boner is exhausting
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
