if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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