Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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