I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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