my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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