I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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