so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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