He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
