I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
