My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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