I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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