woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
