i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
