New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
When are your genitals available?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
