it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
