No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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