she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
