opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
