I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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