do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
only you would photoshop your dick
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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