never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
