so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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