I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
