He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
everyone is single if you try hard enough
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
