she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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