OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize