I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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